tired midwest parents

Stop scrolling the App Store for the perfect solution to all of your productivity problems. You already know the answer to how you’ll address your constant struggle to live the life you want. You know there is no magic spell in a multi tooled app that supports calendars and lists and productivity. No daily quote will turn you into an efficiency machine. No one cares what color you code your work schedule vs. your personal plans. The obstacle is almost always the same thing.

It’s you.

I’ve learned by doing. I’ve tried a few apps to support “bringing it all together” in an effort to be more organized and productive. But the app didn’t force me to do anything. The app did’t have daily conversations with me to determine my goals and motivations. The app couldn’t help me problem solve and make commitments and ask for help. It was exhausting trying, and I didn’t develop the app so it didn’t really work. My biggest obstacle was me.

The apps look nice. They bundle a bunch of different methods together that support productivity and organization. Then they charge you a subscription fee to keep it.

“Having to pay for it will motivate me to keep going, hold myself accountable!”

No. It won’t. It will eventually make you feel very guilty about spending the money after you miss a few deadlines, dates, or simple tasks. It will eat away at you and make you feel tied to it until the subscription runs out, and you’ll half heartedly try to keep it going, all the while still dreaming of a better option.

I think there is one. Perhaps a few. And they’re much easier.

Save your money. Look at yourself.

Here’s a little worksheet to fill out to help you figure out what you may need:

1. What do you want to do?
2. When do you want to do it?
3. How long will it take?
4. Will it cost money?
5. What is preventing me from getting this done?

Now look at the answers to #1-3 and hold on to those. Now here’s another few questions:

6. Do you prefer your phone calendar, or a paper calendar?

7. Do you prefer a phone hosted reminders/to do list or a paper to do list?

Now, depending on what the answer to questions #6 and 7, you can just go ahead and get started. Fill out your preferred calendar and reminder/to do list with the answers to questions #1-3. Take your time. Add notes if it helps make them clear. Don’t hold back. Get it all out.

Ok. Now, review question #4. Will it cost money? If you have the time and the money to reasonably accomplish your things, plan to do them. If you don’t have the money, consider delaying or cancelling the event or task. Maybe whip up a plan to save or make the money, but don’t go bankrupt trying to be productive. You can’t buy time.

So at this point, you’ve done everything an app supposedly does for you, all in one place, on your own time, and without subscribing to some monthly or yearly commitment. Congratulations. Spend some of the $100 you saved on one of your goals!

Next comes the fun part. Question #5. What’s preventing you for getting this done?

I don’t know you. I can’t help you directly with how your mind works. I can, however offer some perspective.

If you have legitimate reasons based on time or means or proximity, sure I can understand reconsidering another task or goal. Maybe scale it back a bit. What’s step one to get to that goal? Can you start there? Work your way up to the final goal without feeling overwhelmed by the size and scope of the whole thing. You have already decided at this point that this is something you want or need to do. So how do we start getting it done? No app can help you make that decision. That’s all you and your support system.

If your reasons live in the fear of accomplishment or lack of self confidence, well, I get that too. I’m always lacking confidence in daily routines to support my wife and kids schedule or work on the house or prepare better for work. But I know I have to find my way in somehow. Try something. One thing. Again, what’s the first step? Who can you talk to for perspective and support on taking it? How great will it feel to scratch it off your list and forget about it. Won’t it be nice to tell the story about how you finally __________ and ________ the _________. (Please don’t turn that into a dirty MAD LIBS.)

Seriously. Ok. Don’t wanna be preachy. Just wanna bring it home here with my own story and perspective.

I dropped the expectation that some digital solution was waiting for me on the other side of a ridiculous paywall. I started looking at when and how I’m most productive and awake and looked at that time as sacred. I had the appropriate conversations with anyone it may affect. I set myself up to have those little blocks of time to get things done when I could. I certainly had to shuffle them from time to time based on life and schedule changes, exhaustion, sickness, and even a few weak moments of not giving a crap.

In the end, it came down to just trying to be honest with myself. I know how much time I have each week to plan, think, meditate, without the noise of my everyday routines butting in. I take that time once a week and look at the days ahead. I plan, prepare, record, and note what I can. I wish myself well. I make a playlist for some accompaniment. (Like a personal “I’m going to get shit done” soundtrack) Then I just go. Do things.

It’s not perfect. I’m not perfect. But I feel a lot better for three reasons.

• I’m grateful to myself for trying.
• I’m seeing things getting done and it motivates me to do more.
• I’m not wasting money on attempting a quick fix.

This may not work for everyone. We all have demons and distractions. We are all sacrificing sleep and sanity for a few more hours of the day. In a loud and overstimulated world where the plot to all of our stories are getting a bit convoluted, its worth a shot to spend some time with yourself and find out the simplest way to create some head space. Don’t overthink or overcomplicated it.

Have fun with it if you can.

I’m enjoying a celebratory Coffee Cake Muffin this morning in honor of getting shit done. Woot!

Good Luck.

-Tired Midwest Parent